10 Red Velvet Cake Fails

When it comes to red velvet cake, we’re no strangers to a mishap or two and it looks like we’re not the only ones. All that delicate, moist sponge, red food colour and white frosting can be a disaster in the making, especially when wacky experimentation is involved.

After tracking down the 10 Sexiest Red Velvets, we scoured the web for the bloggers, bakers and food lovers brave enough to share their biggest red velvet mishaps with the world.

1. The Red Cake Disaster Trifle

Image courtesy of: Renee, My Kitchen and I

Grandma Bibb’s sacred recipe makes the best alternative Christmas cake, so how come granddaughter, Renee’s red velvet cake looked like it had been posted through a letterbox? This 'decorating a warm cake' fail followed a dry sponge fail, and eventually lead to success, teaching us a few brilliant cakey lessons along the way. So remember, if you want trifle, make trifle, not cake – if you do make cake, wait for it to cool before slathering on your icing.

2. The Red Velvet Battered Onion Rings

Image courtesy of: Dan, The Food in My Beard

To cut a long story short, this is what happens when your red velvet onion rings go wrong. This is presuming you thought the concept was right in the first place. If you did, just remember these two golden rules: don’t fry them at too low a temperature (unless grease is your thing) and use a funnel cake batter as opposed to classic cake. Because there’s nothing worse than something you thought couldn’t get any worse.

3. The Red Velvet Cupcake Burger with Cheese

Spotted on: FW Bite Club's Twitter feed

Discovered on Twitter, this red velvet cupcake burger from The Garage comes in a toasted bun, complete with oozing Swiss cheese. We reckon McDonalds might be missing a trick here. McVelvet anyone?

4. The Undercover Carrot Velvet

Spotted on: Cakewrecks

These tragic little red velvet cupcakes have clearly been duped like the kids who were told to come to the party in fancy dress – when it wasn’t a fancy dress party. Of course, both carrot and red velvet cakes are delicious with a dollop of cream cheese frosting but come on, what would Bugs Bunny say if he bit into a red velvet posing as his favourite carrot cupcake? Betrayed, that’s what.

5. The Red Velvet Fried Chicken

Spotted on: Yelp

No, unfortunately it’s not tandoori chicken. This red velvet fried chicken with cream cheese garlic mash and coleslaw is a bestseller at American Cupcake, a San Francisco bakery. We kid you not.

6. The BOGOF Red Velvet

Image courtesy of: Jason, Forking Tasty

This red velvet disaster involved a box of buy 1 get 1 free red velvet cake mix and a cook who prefers to eyeball most recipes. In his own words, “How hard can it be? Obviously, for me, kinda hard.” He even blogged about it. We salute your honesty, J.

7. The Red Velvet Pancakes with Cream Cheese Sauce and Bacon

Spotted on: Yelp

If you enjoy a buffet, red velvet, pancakes, cream cheese, bacon and French toast, all at the same time and in the same plate, make sure you book a trip to Vegas. The Wicked Spoon buffet will satisfy your every crazy craving. Oh, ‘All You Can Eat’, you say? Lucky you!

8. The Green Velvet

Spotted on: Cakewrecks

Thinking too far out of the box is often a dangerous game. Such is the case when red velvet cake gets so experimental, it’s not even red anymore. We found cakeheads all over the world creating the good, the bad and the downright mouldy of ‘green velvets’, ‘blue velvets’ and even ‘black velvets’. If it ain't broke, don't try to fix it, we say!

9. The Red Velvet Newborn

Spotted on: Cakewrecks

For what occasion could this foetal creation possibly be for? And don’t say a birth or baby shower. This blue-tinged, amniotic-covered fondant newborn conceals wedges of hand-carved red velvet cake. Horrific on every level.

10. The Steak Velvet

Spotted on: Cakewrecks

In a strange way, this one sort of makes sense. It would be wrong to cut into a glossy, bloody, fat-rimmed steak to find vanilla or chocolate sponge. Alas, we think we’d all agree that a steak cake is far less nauseating than newborn baby cake.

Ever had a red velvet disaster of your own? Want to leave a comment and tell us about it? We won’t laugh, honest.

Have you seen the 10 Sexiest Red Velvets in the World?


Sanjana Modha