Before we dive right into this countdown of the absolute worst things you could ever eat on public transport, let’s take a minute to appreciate that ‘nothing’ is a perfectly reasonable answer.
FYI, We have done zero research to back up our thoughts and you're likely to disagree with most of what we're about to say.
People who realise that hot food in confined, busy spaces is just as bad as microwaving fish pie in the office will understand the struggle is real. As delicious as your chicken katsu curry pot might be, realise that everybody is looking down and nuzzling their scarves for the faint whiff of perfume or aftershave, as well as silently judging you.
Often, the windows are totally sealed, the air con almost never works and you get serious side eye for even turning the pages of your newspaper too loudly. Of course, nobody ever says anything. Welcome to Great Britain, the place where we bottle up our aggression during awkward social situations, encouraging the veins in our foreheads to pop, but at least we’ll be ready to vent our frustrations to an unsuspecting friend later… over a nice cup of tea.
For us, hot meals and foods loaded with pungent aromas are by far the worst culprits, closely followed by anything loaded with garlic, onions, ketchup or fish.
Having said this, it’s not only smells that cause passive aggressive feelings among passengers on buses and trains. Yep, we’re talking about sounds. The audible ‘crunch’ of an apple, the ‘slurp’ of a juicy peach or the ‘rustle’ of a pesky bag or packet is enough to send some people ‘round the bend.
Okay, let’s compromise. Opening up a cheese sandwich or a cereal bar isn’t doing anybody any harm, provided you follow the following public transport food rules…
- Always pick up your rubbish or put it in the bin provided.
- Don’t chew, chop or crunch unnecessarily loudly.
- Don’t eat in a way that might cause you to transfer crumbs onto the person beside you.
- Use an antibacterial hand gel to clean your hands after you’ve eaten. Touching poles and handles with food on your hands isn’t doing anybody any favours.
- Realise that both the bacon butty and Egg McMuffin may both be breakfast items but they REALLY aren’t the same as a granola bar.
Are you ready for this countdown? Tell us what you think in the comments.
10. Burgers from fast food places
The pungent whiff of reformed meat, sour ketchup and processed cheese is a throat-itching combo that fills buses and train carriages is the WORST. Everybody knows that anything that requires two hands to eat is not suitable for public transport.
You smell it before you even hear it. It’s the feint rustling of a brown paper bag, tearing off the burger wrapper with reckless abandonment and a slobbery, carefree chew. Please don’t be that person.
9. Any flavour of Monster Munch
The lingering whiff of flamin’ hot, pickled onion and roast beef doesn’t sit well with us. P.S. Don’t put them on your fingers and nibble off each individual toe one by one. It’s not cute.