1. A dish that is so popular that it has multiple names across Great Britain is bound to be a glorious thing. Whether it’s a ‘chip butty’, a ‘chip sandwich’, or a ‘chip cob’ to you, there’s no denying that there’s really nothing else that compares to it.
2. Good chip butties have a soft, white roll and a slathering of cold butter which is sensational against hot, crunchy chips straight from the fryer. I like to think of it as an orchestra of flavours and textures tinkering with the senses of symphony. If you’re making it with brown bread and oven chips, you’re doing it wrong.
3. The simple and dare I say it, ‘bland’ flavours of the chip butty are its most alluring quality, no matter how refined your taste buds are.
4. They’re fully customisable. You can add whatever you like. A few suggestions from the office were ketchup, baked beans, cheese, chilli sauce, curry sauce, fish fingers or a fried egg. However, I disagree with all of these and prefer my chip butties naked. Why taint something that is already perfect?
5. They’re carb-on-carb – and that’s okay. If you’re a closet carb muncher and you’re looking for a way to feed your addiction without the fear of social backlash, the chip butty is your saviour.
6. There’s a song about them. The Sheffield United ‘Greasy Chip Butty Song’ is sung to the tune of John Dever’s ‘Annie’s Song’ and it’s a beautiful thing. If you want to learn it as a mark of respect to the butty (regardless of whether you’re a Sheffield United fan or not), here are the lyrics:
You fill up my senses, Like a gallon of Magnet, Like a packet of Woodbines, Like a good pinch of snuff, Like a night out in Sheffield, Like a greasy chip butty, Like Sheffield United, Come fill me again.
7. They can be eaten at any time of day. Breakfast? Yeah. Lunch? Totally. Tea time? Why the fudge not? Midnight snack? Absolutely – that’s the most satisfying time of all. In fact, midnight should be re-named ‘the hour of the chip butty’.
8. Forgoing homemade chips helps keep local chip shops alive. And shop-bought tastes much, much better. Then again, doesn’t everything taste better when someone else makes it?
9. They can be vegan or gluten free if you’re that way inclined. Just replace the butter with a slathering of margarine and use gluten-free bread. The chip butty doesn’t judge you based on your dietary requirements.
10. In my day they were a school dinner essential – we would queue for half an hour for a glorious Yorkshire chip butty made with chunky, fried chips and as far as our juvenile minds knew, they never did us any harm. That was before Jamie Oliver revolutionised the school dinner system. Wilted kale and cottage cheese on brown bread, anyone?
11. It’s a great British classic and we’re all about keeping traditions alive. Yeah, meat cocktails, ceviche and cronuts are ‘fashionable’ and all that jazz but together, we can hold our own and stand together to start a chip butty revival. Let’s us be proud of proper British grub and share our national creation with the world. Citizens, what say you to this?