1. Just seen #CheekyNandos trending on Twitter and now I really want one.
2. I wonder who’ll come with me. Probably Dave. Dave loves Nando’s. But not as much I do.
3. Great, Dave’s up for it. I bet he’s going to get Lemon and Herb.
4. I’m getting Hot. Maybe one day I’ll get Extra Extra Hot and be respected by all.
5. Look at the queue! There’s no way I’m waiting. Let’s go to KFC.
6. No, I’m loyal to you Nando’s. I’ll wait as long as it takes.
7. Yeah, OBVIOUSLY I’ve been here before. What do you take me for?
8. Great, table 17. I’ll never remember that.
9. Why is this table so sticky?
10. Don’t even ask me if I want olives. I will shun you.
11. Nuts. What do I order? Standard 10 wings or ½ chicken?
12. The person in front of us just ordered a salad on its own. What’s the point? Stay at home next time, mate.
13. Dave’s going for a PLAIN Butterfly Burger. How embarrassing. Note to self: Don’t invite Dave next time.
14. I’m going for 10 Chicken Wings. Hot.
15. Is three sides too many sides? That squeaky Halloumi cheese is the best. I need that. And Chips with PERi-PERi Spice.
16. Also, some Fino Coleslaw. Because it’s not your average coleslaw. It’s Fino.
17. Do I want Macho Peas? I could be Macho if I wanted to be...
18. And some PERinaise. I’ll actually take a gallon of PERinaise and bathe in it tonight.
19. I’ll have a Fanta to extinguish the flames from my Hot Wings. Dave won’t need a drink for his plain burger. He might as well have got a salad with that other guy from the queue.
20. I’m one chilli away from my Red Reward! Get in.
21. Quick, grab the Garlic Peri Peri sauce, Dave!
22. Nooooo! It’s all gone. This trip is a disaster. Dave's a failure. Shouldn’t have come on a Saturday. Wild Herb will have to do.
23. I’m going to fill this glass with Fanta a minimum of four times to make up for the lack of Garlic Peri Peri sauce.
24. I haven’t got enough hands for cutlery. They should provide baskets. I might Tweet them that later.
25. I’m making small talk with Dave but really all I’m thinking about is whether those plates are mine.
26. Is that mine? No.
27. Is that mine? Lemon and Herb? Yeah right!
28. Is that mine? No.
29. That’s got to be mine. We were here before them!
30. Why does everybody in this entire restaurant have food but us?
31. Here comes Dave’s Plain Butterfly Burger. I’m going to tell everybody about this.
32. MY WINGS! <3
33. MY SIDES! <3
34. Don’t ask me if I’m enjoying my meal as I take my first bite. You’re ruining the moment.
35. Beautiful, juicy wings enveloped in a coating of pure fire. I love you.
36. My mouth is burning deeply like the love in my soul.
37. This Wild Herb sauce isn’t too bad but it’s no Garlic Peri Peri.
38. Halloumi is the work of a true cheese wizard. I should have ordered more.
39. They weren’t lying about the Fino in this coleslaw. It’s damn Fino if you ask me.
40. I feel like I’m about to give birth to a Nandino.
41. Four Fantas were a bad idea.
42. Should I get a fro yo? Dave’s not getting dessert. Am I a massive pig for even thinking about unlimited fro yo?
43. No, I’ll hold back.
44. "Thanks for the meal, see you tomorrow, mate!"
45. Woah, did I just say, ‘see you tomorrow’ to the waiter?!
46. How many days in a row is it acceptable to have a cheeky Nando’s?