After a valiant effort by our friends over in the American offices, we're left wondering why, oh why Knickerbocker Glory aren’t already a band, why we don’t call spring onions ‘weeping watercrisps’ and why we never realised that Eton Mess is probably what Paul McCartney looks like when he wakes up in the morning.
We are impressed by their knowledge of black pudding and fish and chips but we’re not gonna lie; the drawings of what they think a chip butty is frightened us. The mere thought of serving a full English brekkie with mayo and gravy makes us feel rather uncomfortable and we can’t say we’re thrilled about our dear old pork pie being described as a spammy hockey puck.
But we are relieved they know spotted dick isn’t a reason to visit the doctor…
Round 1: British Food or British Band?
Eton Mess and Knickerbocker Glory aren't bands, but they should be because they'd probably be amazing. Chumbawumba also sounds like it would be a great sandwich, maybe with roast beef. Too bad they're a band.
Round 2: Finish the Sentence
This Piccalilli place sounds like it's worth a visit.
Wrapping an entire hen in dough sounds like a job for Mary Berry.
Jam Roly-Poly: to die for.
That's deep, bro.
Double points for the pun.
Round 3: Name This Food
Other answers included: Spam Capsules and Meat Bucket.
Other answers included: Egg Balls, English Eggs Benedict and Fried Eggs.
Other answers included: Germany, Sausage Pizza and Bangers and Mash.
Round 4: What’s The English Name for…
So wrong, it's almost right.
That's right, everything in Britain is tea or a crumpet. Jolly good.
Spot on! And we're not even being sarcastic this time.
Round 5: Should You Pour Gravy on It?
We'd like to agree but some things just aren't meant to be.
Gravy wouldn't do jellied eels any favours - we're not even sure we like them.
Chips and gravy are like the PB & J of Northern England.
There are only two acceptable sauces to serve with a Full English Breakfast. What are they?
Not a chance!
And we have a winner!
And to Finish...
Draw a picture of what you think a Chip Butty is
This is what we call an ice cream in Britain, you may have heard of it but it's rather elusive so perhaps not.
Not even close.
Kind of see where you're going with this but to us, still looks like Pac Man's been down to the chippy.
What? If anyone knows what this might be, plese let us know because we've been staring at it for 10 minutes trying to figure it out.
YES! The chip butty as we know and love it is two pieces of bread filled with hot, crispy chips. This is what it should look like.
But if it looked like this, life would still be grand.
Jolly good work, chaps!